"I had no interests. I had no interest in anything. I had no idea how I was going to escape. At least the others had some taste for life. They seemed to understand something that I didn’t understand. Maybe I was lacking. It was possible. I often felt inferior. I just wanted to get away from them. But there was no place to go."

ok
so I went for the big bang alive concert in Singapore last night (aka a few hours ago)

it was amazing. OMFG SO GOOD.

and
and
and

GD looked at me i swear omfg he was right in front of me and our eyes met

IT WAS SO PRECIOUS FELT LIKE I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN.

i really really wish someone recorded that moment and just gave the video to me

…anyway I’m so scared i’d forget it eventually
seriously. I can’t even sleep now.

also regretting a bunch of stuff

like not standing closer to the T stage (I was at the front but at the side…)
like not cheering enough (I think the crowd was just not as enthusiastic as I hoped it would be…)
and etc

post concert depression, in a way.

But but but but
I guess I need to remember the good memories (which was like 99.9999999%) instead of the bad/regrets

“don’t be sad that it ended, be glad that it happened,” they say. I want to do that.

I love you BB, thanks for everything.
especially you, kwon jiyong, despite your floaty eyes and preference for the T stage, ilu.